The summer holidays, a time of relaxation and rejuvenation for many, can often feel like a distant memory as the hustle and bustle of the new school year takes hold. For neurodivergent children, this transition can be particularly challenging. The structured environment, academic pressures, and social complexities of school can exacerbate underlying challenges.
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Here, Sarah Gallacher, our Clinical Director of Purple House Clinic Edinburgh, delves into the unique experiences of neurodivergent children in the school setting and offers strategies to help support their wellbeing and academic success.
The summer holidays can provide a much-needed respite for neurodivergent young people. Away from the structured, often overwhelming school environment, they can relax, recharge and be themselves without the pressure of masking. However, the return to school can be a difficult adjustment, especially if there have been significant changes in their circumstances. New schools or year groups can be particularly daunting, and the transition back into the routine and expectations of the classroom can be a shock to the system after the respite of summer.
As teens begin to more fully resemble adults, it can be easy to start to expect them to operate more like adults. However, the parts of the brain responsible for skills, like planning, prioritising and making good decisions, don’t fully develop until the mid-20s. For neurodivergent young people, these skills can take longer to develop and can continue to be challenging throughout life. As challenging and as hard as it can be, look past the behaviour and try and understand the emotion and need that lies underneath. Anger often reflects hurt and feelings of vulnerability.
Be curious and look for patterns that might help you to understand your child better – it can be positive patterns that hold clues too. For example, if on Tuesdays and Thursdays, your child seems happier going to school, but on Mondays and Wednesdays there are tears and tantrums, speak to the school regarding what the differences are between these days. As you start to understand positive and negative triggers, you can then develop strategies to make the tougher days easier.
Open and collaborative communication with key school staff is essential. By sharing insights into your child’s strengths and challenges, you can gain a deeper understanding of their school experience. Equally important is listening to the school’s perspective on your child’s behaviour and any concerns they may have. If there’s a discrepancy between the positive school reports and the difficulties experienced at home, it’s crucial to explore potential factors, such as masking or being overwhelmed within the school environment. Implementing accommodations like movement breaks or decompression time can significantly improve a child’s overall wellbeing and behaviour.
School days are not the best days of everyone’s life, so let’s not perpetuate the myths. How someone gets on – or doesn’t – at school doesn’t determine the rest of their life – just ask Alan Sugar and Richard Branson! For many young people, their time to shine comes after school when they have more autonomy, are able to follow their own interests and skills and can build the kind of life that they want to live. Learning is lifelong and can take many forms, so encouraging your teen to be curious, to use their strengths and to follow any – non-damaging – interest that they have helps them to recognise that they do have the ability to learn, even if this isn’t in the traditional form.
It is important to remember that you as a parent or guardian are their safe space, and that is why you may often feel the brunt of their emotions. Don’t take it personally; know that their emotions are like the tides and will continually be changing and make the most of the moments of calm to find ways to engage and have fun together. Navigating the complexities of neurodiversity in a school setting can be a daunting challenge for parents and caregivers. However, with understanding, patience, and effective communication, it is possible to create a supportive environment in which neurodivergent children can thrive.
If you are seeking additional support or expert guidance on neurodiversity, at Purple House Clinic we offer specialised neurodiversity assessments and further support. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and seeking assistance is a sign of strength and commitment to your child’s wellbeing.
For more information about PHC Edinburgh located at 8A Rutland Square EH1 2AS, visit www.purplehouseclinic.co.uk/psychologists-edinburgh/ or call 0131 5630868.
